Time Lords Don't Take Bubble Baths
by Irrepressable
Summary: Clara gets a big surprise when she comes home. Based on a series of text messages between me and my mother. Rated T for naked Time Lords


Sometimes life was exciting. Well, life was, on a regular basis, exciting for Clara Oswald. It could be a great deal of fun. It could be very, very dangerous. Sometimes it was emotionally draining. Frequently, her adventures with a certain Time Lord could be all three. Still, she loved those trips and adored the Doctor, even though he often acted like an adult-sized five-year-old. That wasn't something Clara could control. Sometimes she wished she could make him act more like an adult, but that was just how the Doctor was. He was so energetic that it was contagious. Unfortunately, too much Doctor at one time could tire a person out. That was why she appreciated her day job. She adored the Doctor- she really did- but she had her own life to live and bills to pay. Right now, she was looking forward to going home. Just as she stepped outside, her mobile rang. Clara quickly answered it. "Hello."

The Doctor's voice came in clearly through the phone, "Hello, Clara, I have a question. It's about body wash. Which is more important: exfoliation or moisturizing?"

Clara raised a brow. This was a strange question. Then again, if the Doctor had a middle name, it would probably be 'Strange'. The petite human shrugged, though that didn't really accomplish anything and said, "Well, exfoliation doesn't really have any point if you can't moisturize." Clara paused for a moment before asking in a teasing manner, "Doctor, are you having a bubble bath in the TARDIS?"

Clara could practically hear the Doctor rolling his eyes as he said, "Don't be silly, Clara. Time Lords don't take bubble baths."

"Just don't blow anything up, all right?" the human female said with a sigh.

"Clara, I'm taking a bath." The Doctor responded. "What's the worst that can happen?"

When the Doctor hung up, Clara was filled with an unspeakable dread and intense concern for the floppy-haired Time Lord's safety. People got hurt while taking a bath all the time and, considering that this was the Doctor, Clara knew that he was fully capable of finding new and exciting ways to get into trouble. Of course, she also knew that the Doctor was usually pretty good at geting himself out of said trouble, though he sometimes needed her aid in accomplishing that feat. Hmm. Maybe she'd call him in an hour or so to check on him. With that thought in mind, Clara prepared for the ride home.

* * *

Traffic had been worse than usual, causing Clara a considerable delay in getting home. She was more than relieved when she walked through her front door, safe and sound. She could do with some relaxation when she got a chance to sit down. Unfortunately, relaxation didn't seem to be in the future, especially when she discovered that the TARDIS was parked in her living room. Oh dear. For several long minute, she gawped at the TARDIS before finally noticing the coat on her sofa. She immediately recognized it as the Doctor's. Another thing she noticed was the sound of relaxing music. It seemed to be coming from her bathroom. As Clara made her way to her bathroom, she saw a familiar bowtie in front of the door. She walked over and picked it up, looking at it thoughtfully. She could hear the music. It was definitely coming from inside the bathroom. Without further ado, Clara opened her bathroom door. What she saw inside shocked her. Her nice scented candles, the ones she had been saving for a special occasion, were placed all over the bathroom. Their lit wicks glowed as they released the scent of lemon and basil. Another scent she noticed was the scent of lemon verbena and lavender in the air. It was probably her favorite body wash. Of course, all of this took back seat to the fact that the Doctor was in her tub. Naked. He was laid back, relaxing in the warm water, which had gone opaque from various bath products. The water's opacity was the reason she, quite thankfully, could not see anything below the surface. Absent-midedly, she noted that it wasn't often that the Doctor was this still. The Time Lord let out a contented sigh. His brown hair was soaking wet, plastered to his head. He flicked his finger, moving what looked like a rubber ducky, only it was purple with antennae and six eyes. Clara let out a squeak. The Doctor, noticing his companion, sat up slightly. His face bright as always, he greeted her. "Hello, Clara!"

Clara gaped at him, her mouth open like a codfish, before finally shrieking, "Doctor! What are you doing in my tub?!"

The Doctor smiled and said, "Taking a bath, of course!"

"Yes, but why in _my_ bathroom?" Clara squeaked

"Mine doesn't have scented candles." the Doctor replied, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

Clara looked away from the Doctor, only to spot her razor, which had brown hairs sticking out of the blades. She looked back in the direction of the Doctor. "By the way," the Time Lord said as an afterthought, "I hope you don't mind. I used your razor."

The Doctor raised a long leg and caressed it with his hands. "I can see why you females do this. I can't stop touching my legs! Everything below my waist is silky smooth."

"You're not suposed to use other people's razors, Doctor, especially not to shave your legs!" Clara groaned. She froze for a second when she fully processed her friend's words. " _Everything_ below the waist?"

"Yep!" the Doctor replied cheerfully. "Not one nick! Pretty impressive for my first time!"

Clara's face went bright red. She buried her face in her hands and said, "Ew. Just... ew."

The Doctor seemed to be examing his fingers and toes. "Well," the Time Lord said, "I should probably get out of the bath. I've been in here so long that I have wrinkles on my fingers, toes, and other places that I don't normally think much about."

"Yeah, that would be a good idea." Clara sighed. "Just throw the razor away when you get out." She wouldn't be using it again.

When the Doctor began to rise from the water, Clara covered her eyes and shrieked, "Wait until I'm out of the room and have closed the door behing me first!"

Not waiting for a response, the human fled the bathroom and slammed the door shut behind her. Letting out a sigh, she leaned against the wall. She heard the relaxing music stop. Not long after that, the door opened and the Doctor emerged. His hair was still a little damp, though most of the moisture had been towel-dried out. Thankfully, he wasn't naked. What Clara was less than thankful for was the fact that he was wearing _her_ fluffy robe. Since it was not a full-length robe and that the Doctor was quite a bit taller than she was, the robe was almost too short. "Did you have to put that on?" Clara groaned

The Doctor shrugged and said, "It's comfy."

There was a brief silence before Clara finally spoke. "Look," the petite brunette said, "Doctor, you can't just use people's things without asking."

"You did say that I could take a bath at your place." the Doctor said with his usual goofy smile. "Back when we were visiting Picasso. Though to be fair, we were both drunk at the time."

"Exactly." Clara said, her face still pink. "I was drunk. You should have asked when I was sober."

"Would you still have said no?" The Doctor inquired

Clara ran a hand through her brown locks as she responded, "Probably."

There was a short, awkward silence before the Doctor finally spoke up. "I'm sorry."

"You'd better be." Clara replied. "Those were _my_ things."

The human glared at the Time Lord for a short time before her gaze softened. "Just promise you won't do it again, okay?"

The Doctor nodded and said, "I promise. I will make a note of this for the future: do not use Clara Oswald's bath products without asking."

"All right." Clara said. "Now get your clothes. No leaving them on the floor."

"All right." The Doctor sighed dramatically.

The Time Lord went into the bathroom for a short time to pick up his clothes. He exited with his folded clothes in his arms. On his way to Clara, he tripped over his own feet. His clothes went flying and the belt to the robe came undone. The robe flew open, exposing the Doctor in all of his naked Glory. Clara shrieked and covered her eyes. "Doctor!"

Clara did get a glimpse before she shielded her vision, though. The Doctor was right. It did look silky smooth.


End file.
